You probably know or know of someone who is an advocate.

Advocating is all the rage these days, everywhere you look it seems like people are raising their voices on social media platforms to advocate for something or someone. Both individuals and companies all seem to be shouting loudly to get your attention about certain causes and it can often be confusing, overwhelming, and in some cases can come off as attention seeking, rather than based on a desire to actually promote real change.

But what is an advocate and what does advocacy looks like?

According to dictionary.com an Advocate is someone who speaks or writes in favor of a particular group or person, who spreads support or urge by arguing on their behalf, often (but not always) publicly.

And according to Wikipedia, Advocacy “aims to influence decisions within political, economic, and social institutions. Advocacy includes activities and publications to influence public policy, laws and budgets by using facts, their relationships, the media, and messaging to educate government officials and the public.”

In the realm of social services, education, and the health field, professionals are often expected to be advocating for the oppressed in some way. But in the last several years it’s not just professionals who are taking a stand, but seemingly anyone and everyone with access to social media.

While there is currently a lot of debate on whether or not digital advocacy on social media makes an actual difference in US policy, we do know that social media campaigns can highlight issues by bringing it to the forefront of societies consciousness and by raising awareness and educating social media users. An example of this is the MeToo movement.

But before rushing to jump on the next trend of advocating for a hot-ticket item, ask yourself… can you empower others if you are not first empowering yourself?

And are you a self-advocate who is supporting your own inner voice?

According to the self-help website, selfadvocatenet.com, self-advocacy is when you first empower yourself by becoming a whole, powerful person that is a able to speak-up for yourself and your needs. It means you know the rights you are entitled to and take responsibility by making proactive choices and decisions to better yourself and your life. It means you first learn self-advocacy skills and learn to listen to your inner voice and your instincts so you can make decisions that you feel good about.

Building self-confidence and not making decisions to please others will help you assert yourself and, as they say, live your best life. Also pursuing healing from trauma, and changing your mindset to that of positivity will put you on a path towards wholeness so that you can be the best version of yourself. Because sometimes the best way to help someone who is struggling, is to first help yourself and demonstrate healthy methods of change. In other-words, being a living example of what it looks like to be whole and empowered can lead others to wholeness and empowerment in your wake. You can create a culture of wholeness and empowerment that helps aid those who are less fortunate than you. And you can share your own experiences and talk about the hard battles you’ve won, that led you to empowerment so that others can follow in your footsteps.

You can’t save someone who is drowning, when you’re drowning yourself. Likewise you can’t advocate and empower others when you are not empowered yourself, or else your actions will fall short of making actual change, and people may end up viewing you as a hypocrite.

That’s not to say that you have to wait until you are a perfectly healthy and whole person, before you can aide others, just that it’s best to lead by example. Advocating for an issue that you have experience in will ring truer and reach more people, than it would if you’ve have no personal stake in the matter.

This can be accomplished in two ways, by ensuring that your activism doesn’t solely exist on social media and by learning to first self-advocate and empower yourself.

You can become an advocate by being a real-life activist, volunteer your time to aide the cause or get educated on the topic through trusted, unbiased resources rather than just the news and social media. Join a local or online group to stay informed, and most importantly open yourself up to hear both sides of the issues rather than living in an echo chamber that simply reinforces your point of view.

Secondly and most importantly, develop skills that help you self-advocate and empower yourself. You can do this by giving yourself a voice. So find people that you trust and start sharing out loud what you think and feel. Start speaking up for the things you believe in, rather than keeping quiet so as to not make waves. Take responsibility for the decisions you’ve made in your life and understand what is and isn’t in your control. Look at yourself without contempt or unrealistic expectations and attempt to better yourself. Be compassionate with yourself as you strive to be the best you possible.

And if you are not experiencing the freedom to take control of your life, ask yourself what needs to change and who you need to get away from, so that you have the freedom to be in control of your own life. Give yourself authority to be the expert on your life; only you have to live with the decisions you make, so make sure you are the one making them in your own self-benefit. The more you assert your independence, the more confident you will feel, and even if the choices you make end up being the wrong ones, instead of beating yourself up, see it as a learning curve. Take responsibility for your actions and try again as you work towards your goals. And lastly, remember that no one is an island, and that the most empowered people have a strong support system. This doesn’t mean that you let the people around you make decisions for you, or influence your decisions, but rather that you gather people around you who support you no matter what and cheer you on as you continue on your journey towards becoming a powerful person, who can in turn empower others.

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Abortion is a complex, polarizing topic that many are passionate about and while most are either adamantly prolife or prochoice, I believe there is a forgoten middle ground that most sides can agree upon; that no woman should ever feel forced into an abortion. While pro-lifers believe that all life is sacred, pro-choicers believe that it’s the woman’s decision and that women should have free-will to make their own choice. And while both sides deserve to be heard, that is not the topic of this letter. Rather, the issue here resides in the place where both sides overlap, that there may be women who are having abortions due to difficult temporary circumstances that cause them to feel pressured, as though abortion is there only option. And while abortion is an option in California for up to 24 weeks, some studies suggest that remedying womens difficult circumstances and alleviating their financial burdens could potentially make them less likely to abort. In fact, one study found that “only 42% of aborting women described their pregnancies as unwanted” (AfterAbortion.org).  This suggests that the mothers on some level wanted their babies, but chose to abort them based on other deciding factors. If this is true then more emphasis should be put onto finding out why these women aborted and what could have been done to support them.

According to a study from 2005, 73% of women reported not having adequate finances as the main cause of their abortion. (Finer et al, 2020) While that number has been challenged over the years, not being able to afford a child is still one of the main causes of abortion. Similarly, the study also discovered that 74% of women terminated pregnancies because, “having a child would interfere with (their) education, work or ability to care for dependents” (Finer et al, 2020 p. 115). Also, an important note is that for women under the poverty line, this percentage was actually much higher, at 81%. (Finer et al, 2020)  So if women are undergoing abortions becuse they are struggling financially, this begs the question, did they feel as though they had no other choice but to terminate, due to their financial instability? And if that’s true would they have wanted the abortion if they’d had the financial means to raise the child? And if they’d received adequate childcare so that it wouldn’t interfere with school or work schedule, would they have chosen to carry to term? Certainly more studies are needed on the topic, but suffice to say, both prolifers and prochoicers should be able to agree that no woman should ever feel forced into an abortion, simply due to financial strain. A woman should be given access to support both financially and medically, so that she can make her own decisions free of outside opinions and stressors. 

While some states offers free and low cost abortions for women, it varies state to state, with some states like Texas banning it after 6 weeks. And similarly, there are no comprehensive national programs that targets poverty stricken women who would prefer not to terminate, were they to become financially stable. While California offers medical coverage, subsidized childcare and other benefit programs for pregnant women, not many states offer the same, and governmental welfare only goes so far. Fortunately, organizations such as Let Them Live are attempting to solve this problem by fundraising money for pregnant women with unstable finances, so that they can afford to continue their pregnancy. While the founder is pro-life, she runs her non-profit with compasion by advocating for women who feel as though abortion is their only choice. If a pregnant woman contacts them and is having doubts about termination and wishes she could afford to keep the baby, then Let Them Live offers free counseling and other support while they fundraise on their behalf. They don’t try to force their beliefs on anyone, but rather aid pregnant women who feel alone, as though they have no other options aside from abortion. They do this by fundraising several thousand dollars for each woman, with the funds allocated for necessities such as housing, utilities, groceries, transportation, financial counseling, prenatal care, car payments and other medical expenses. (Let Them Live) Similarly, if the woman is concerned about maintaining her job or continuing her education, the non-profit organization also fundraises money for childcare so that the mother can keep working afterwards. For example, a recent mother who’s also a college student has been given 27,000 dollars to help her with housing and future daycare expenses. (Let Them Live) This organization takes a holistic approach that looks at improving individuals lives by improving their economic, social and environmental circumstances. They do this by connecting women to counselors and support groups that will support them on their pregnancy journey. And they even send them baby gifts to help offset the cost of baby supplies. The company also connects women to other like-minded organizations that provide social services to pregnant women, and points them to governmental resources such as TANF and WIC. 

To date their are conflicting survey results about whether women regret their abortions or not, one study declares women 95% of women do not regret their abortions. (Jenkins, 2015) While another study said that 77% did regret it. (Rafferty & Longbons, 2021) Still, some studies even suggest increased risk of mental illness and sucide among women who aborted, and reported that suicide was a much higher risk for women who terminated than those who carried the baby to term. (Source Media Online, 2015) These numbers may seem both alarming and confusing, but it is important remember that abortion involves real life women, and that these statistics represent real individuals who may feel and experience similar situations differently. Some women do not regret their abortions, and actively speak out about normalizing aboirtion, but in contrast some women do regret it, with some even becoming advocates for the unborn.

 If some women are experiencing mental illness in the aftermath of abortion we can surmise that as the previous study suggests, it may be linked to the woman feeling overwhelmed by being financial unprepared, and/or too busy with work or school. However, these problems are mostly temporary and can be remedied easily by a nationwide policy that offers comprehensive supportive services for pregnant women. Until more research is done we may never know with 100% certainty, but we can assume that for some of these women, had their financial burdens been eliminated and had they had access to a positive support system, they might have felt empowered to choose differently, and make a choice that they would not come to regret.

So rather than focusing on who is more right, the prolife or prochoice movement, let’s look to organizations such as Let Them Live and attempt to bridge the gap for women who want to keep their baby, but feel forced into abortion due to finacial instabilities or other difficult circumstances. You can do this by fundraising for organizations like these, where the money directly benefits a prospective mother. Or you can use your own social media platform to put pressure on local government agencies, by raising your voices until a new policy is put in place that financially, emotionally and mentally supports any and all women experiencing unplanned pregnancy, so that they in turn can feel empowered enough to make a decision they can stand behind.

Sources:

Jenkins, N. 2015. Hardly any women regret having an abortion, a new study finds. Time. Retrieved November 15, 2021, from https://time.com/3956781/women-abortion-regret-reproductive-health/. 

L. Finer et al Finer. 2020. Reasons U.S. women have abortions: Quantitative and qualitative perspectives. Guttmacher Institute. Retrieved November 13, 2021, from https://www.guttmacher.org/journals/psrh/2005/reasons-us-women-have-abortions-quantitative-and-qualitative-perspectives.

Let Them Live. (n.d.) No mom should have to choose between paying her bills or her baby’s life. Let Them Live. Retrieved November 13, 2021, from https://letthemlive.org/.

Rafferty, Katherine & Longbons, Tessa. 2021. #AbortionChangesYou: A Case Study to Understand the Communicative Tensions in Women’s Medication Abortion Narratives, Health Communication, 36:12, 1485-1494, DOI: 10.1080/10410236.2020.1770507

AfterAbortion.org.Only a minority of abortions are for unwanted pregnancies, new study. 2021. Retrieved November 13, 2021, from https://afterabortion.org/only-a-minority-of-abortions-are-for-unwanted-pregnancies-new-study/. 

Source Media Online. 2015. Queensland health – allied health education and training – effective vs ineffective supervision. YouTube. Retrieved November 11, 2021, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZfSk4_LPkY

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